Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Still Alive and Waiting

Still Alive and Waiting
I haven't written much lately, because there is nothing new to write about, and I don't want to fall into one long whine. Rene is still here, busily packing box after box after box, and even though her loan came through nobody seems to know when closing-and hence moving-day will be.

I am still stuck waiting for her to leave before I can do the grieving necessary to move on. I try hard not to take the low road and argue or snipe at her, but I struggle with it. I know the higher road will leave me happier in the end, and her, too.

I am still hoping she'll be gone by Christmas. Meg and my friend Peggy and I will get together for a couple of hours, and I will low key the rest of the day. I am going to put the tree up, with just lights and icicles, but that will probably be the extent of my Christmas decorating. These decisions have helped me, because I do not have the energy to get caught in the Christmas Chaos which rages in the outside world today.

This is one time of year I am sorry not to be a believing Christian anymore-I used to enjoy Advent and the religious aspects leading up to Christ's birth. I will have a small solitary Winter Solstice ritual, and am looking forward to that.

Phew! I am exhausted trying to be optimistic under these circumstances! Had to laugh(eventually) at one of my Dr's nurses. She was trying to cheer me up and told me she believed one only needed three out of four things in life to be happy.
The four things were:
1) a good relationship
2) enough money to live on
3) a job one liked at least some of the time
4) one's health

I looked her straight in the face and took the low road."Gee, I said," I cannot claim even one out of the four."Her face fell, and she mumbled something about the doctor being right in, and fled. For a few minutes I was bummed, then I began to see the funny side of it. She probably uses that explanation to cheer lots of patients up, and I'm probably the first one on whom it completely backfired

Despite it all, I am doing okay, and will survive Rene's departure and the Holiday Season. I am hoping that the people I care about will have a joyous season, full of friends and family and good food, and the blessing of the Christ Child who brings Light into the world, and peace, too.

Blessings, Margo


ChasingMoksha said...

I'm here Margo! I'm here!

Do you get alerts for comments here? If you do, nevermind, if you don't and don't know how, ask and I shall tell.

Becky said...

Are you going to mirror your entries in both spots? If so, I'll just add this version to my bloglines. :-) I scaled back on my Christmas decorating this year. I've still not completely recovered from Thanksgiving...plus I've been sick. No telling when I'll get my shopping done. I just don't give a crap if anyone else in the family gets a gift other than Tyler. Awful, isn't it? Feh. Bah Humbug.

Judith HeartSong said...

I wish you peace..... we will celebrate the solstice as well, that much I can do.
This limbo is unfortunate and I wish that you could get on with your life.
love to you my friend.

Virginia said...

Sorry that thngs are so in limbo for you. We are thinking of you had wishing this transition goes peacefully and as smoothly as possible.



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