Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Life Change Today

Rene moved out today. We had been together 13 years and 11 months. She still has to come back and get Miya(her Chihuahua), tonight, she said, and a whole bunch of stuff that didn't fit in the moving van. She will need to bring help-her brother and sister-in-law, whom I have grown to love over the years, and a few others. That will be next week.

I haven't cried much yet, but the tears will come, because despite it all, I still love her. And I am both sorry and glad she's gone. Odd how emotions are tangled together, and you can flow from one to another in a nanosecond. I'm angry at her, grateful to her, terribly sad, and quite relieved. And I miss her terribly already.

Still, the house feels suddenly, wonderfully larger, and I will have space to put up more altars, to move furniture around, to smudge, and do ritual and live my own life. There is a very painful bitter sweetness about it all.I am over 200 journal entries behind, and will let myself catch up slowly, but I hope you all are having a sane and healthy season, and that your Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, and any celebration I've left out is joyful.

Blessings, Margo

5 comments:

Virginia said...

Blessings in all you will do to make your home truly reflect who you are. I hope your transition goes smoothly. Take each day gently.

Peace, Virginia

Judith HeartSong said...

Dearest Margo,
I cannot say congratulations to you because I know there is a terrible ache in your heart right now. Love does not just disappear when a relationship ends, and I am so sorry that you are hurting.

You deserve so much better. Hang in there and keep looking at the bright side of things... being able to do things the way YOU want to in your own house is a very good thing.

Look at this as a time to cherish yourself, and we will all be right here helping.

love to you my friend.
judi

Ayn said...

Afternoon Margo! Please allow this slight commercialism. As fellow exodus journalists/bloggers, we are letting people know of our new blog called, Directory Assistance. We are hosting to the community a list of names and locations of bloggers who had once been AOL journalists, or are still AOL journalists, but who have opened in exchange, or addition an Internet Blog.

Directory Assistance is published by an advocate team of Vivian, Judith, Patrick, Gabreael, Virginia, Vince (me), and Ayn.
We are offering an open community blog that serves as a form of connection between you and community members like us.

You are invited to stop by Directory Assistance blog and leave questions, comments, concerns, or make additions, changes, or deletions of your blog listing. At the bottom and top of the sidebar Directory list, there will always be the most recent html update of people and journals listed at Directory Assistance, changes will be updated daily.

You are invited to copy these codes freely to your sidebar or blog body and update as often as you would like. Again it is a list of your fellow Journalists/Bloggers (who wish to be included). If you like the service, please let others know. At its starting point, there are approximately 170 of us represented on the list. Thanks for being here and letting us stop by. Let us also know your thoughts!

With all our heart,
Your Directory Assistance

ChasingMoksha said...

{{{Hugs}}} Margo. Do you think the two of you can become friends all over, or is that out of the question?

I don't know what to say, but it will get better. Think of your new body! Maybe you can get a Mr. Darcy like I have. Of course you can name yours whatever you like. LOL!

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